Bloggers and Real Lives

I’ve started blogging many years ago. In these years I’ve read many other blogs and I’ve seen discussions about bloggers and real lives on and off. Sadly, some of them are rants from bloggers that accuse other bloggers of being fake or, at least, not real. I’m going to talk about some of the things I’ve read. As a lifestyle blogger, I blogged at a point about each aspect, from working from home, home, skincare. As a food blogger I’ve been asked, see 3 Funny things people have asked me if I eat snacks from plates or not. This is another thing I’m going to talk about. So far, as a book blogger at Coffee & Books nobody implied that I didn’t read the books, that would be really puzzling.
I like reading about positives things, from days out to lovely recipes. So these are the things I write about on my blog.

Apparently, a real person or a real blogger talks about their struggles and how hard it is to do x thing. A rant-free blog must be fake, because nobody has a perfect life. First of all, we should agree on what a perfect life means. Someone that travels abroad every other month would find my UK based days out boring only because it’s where we live. At the same time, someone that doesn’t have a car, would think that my life is great, being able to drive where I want and to see lovely new places. A similar discussion can be made about the house I live in, the car I have, the food I eat, the clothes I’m wearing, the makeup I’m using, the books I’m reading.

Bloggers and Real Lives

Myths about bloggers and real lives

1. Fashion Bloggers don’t made their beds, have a pile of clothes on “the chair”. They also blog in their pyjamas.

I have no idea why it matters if a blogger writes and Photoshops her imagines wearing jeans, a skirt, or pyjamas. But, regardless, I never blogged in my pyjamas. I don’t wear them during the day or evenings, but only when I’m going to bed. As I said, even if I did, why would it make a difference of my styling or the outfit I was wearing that day.
My bedroom is light and airy, I don’t have a chair. I shared a picture of my nightstand in the bedtime routine. It looks similarly today, a different vase and other type of flowers, but pretty much the rest is the same.

2. Beauty bloggers lie about their skincare routine

When they are coming from a party, they are not removing their makeup. Also, who would like to have a girlfriend that does that? I was paraphrasing, because I didn’t want to link to that post. Removing the makeup in the evening, washing the face and applying moisturizer takes less than 5 minutes. It’s about self care as much as anything else. In my mind, who would like to have a boyfriend/husband that is bothered about a 5 minutes wait?

I’m very far from being a beauty blogger (or a fashion blogger), but I care about my skincare regime. Recently I’ve started applying sun protection cream and I wouldn’t leave the house if I didn’t. I also put on some lipstick, even if I go for a walk with the dog.

3. Lifestyle (and parent) bloggers don’t show when their house is a mess. They don’t show the laundry just outside the view where the picture is taken.

This is one of the things I’m most puzzled about. Why do some people imagine that everybody else lives in a sty? It might happen for my house to be a mess, but I’d rather do a bit of cleaning instead of showing my “real” life on social media or on my blog. If now I would get a phone call that in 30 minutes a friend would come to see me, the first thing I would do is to put a batch of muffins in the oven to bake, while I take care of those magazines that are near the entrance. My house is not exactly a horrible mess and I imagine most homes aren’t.
Also, the dirty laundry, does anybody keep theirs in the living room? Mine is in a closed hamper, out of sight.

4. Food bloggers don’t eat like in their pictures.

That is a bit obvious. I don’t eat with flowers beside the plates over ruffled tea towels. But I do eat, like most people, from a nice looking plate.
I know there are people that eat two dishes from the same plate, or that they put the pot on the table for everybody to serve themselves. For me that is not an option. I don’t like the idea. But, even if I did, that wouldn’t make any difference to the way I’m showing my dishes.

For me, being a food blogger is much more than sharing a recipe. It involves creativity to take beautiful pictures too. This picture wasn’t planned. It was from our New Year Eve’s celebrations and I didn’t intend to share it anywhere, even less to share the dish. I did share it because I though it was delicious and I want to remember it, maybe making it again. Food bloggers do eat nice things beside what they are sharing on their blogs. To continue with the example of the NYE celebrations, I didn’t share the 6 desserts I’ve made, like Mousse au chocolat, cheesecake, and tiramisu.

5. Fashion bloggers only take pictures wearing heels and they do have chipped nail polish.

I’m not a fashion blogger and I wear only heels, as I’ve shared in my Walking in high heels post (there is a picture with the shoes too). Now, I do have a pair of flats, I had to buy them for my volunteering work because the skirt I had wasn’t long enough to cover the shoes/boots and Victorian ladies didn’t walk in 3″ – 4″ heels. I’m wearing heels when I’m away for the day with work, if I’m visiting a museum (block heels for stately homes, as stilettos can damage the flooring).

You’ll never see me with chipped nail polish. I will not use nail polish if I can’t remove it if chipped (lack of time or not in the mood). A fashion blogger, who loves clothes and shoes so much, surely must take care of their nails too. If they have heels, they must be wearing them too.

6. “Who has white walls and fresh flowers, that is only on Pinterest and Instagram”

I do have white walls and flowers. Not fresh because a bunch can last for a week or two. But I do have flowers most of the time. I get a big bunch and put a vase in the living room, one or two small vases in the bedroom. I even have some flowers in the bathroom. It’s not exactly high end living to dress up a few rooms with £2-£3 from the supermarket.

There are many bloggers with wonderful white walls. As a dog owner, white walls are the best. I can easily wipe them clean and we do refresh the paint every other month. It takes 15 minutes to repaint where he spends most of his time, especially as he has the habit of sleeping with his paws on the wall.

For someone that loves feature walls, white paint is not exactly the perfect solution. But that doesn’t mean that for some people can’t work.

7. Food and lifestyle bloggers have dirty dishes pilled up in the kitchen sink and they don’t talk about them.

As with other things, I wonder why anybody would like to see dirty dishes as a “behind the scenes”. I don’t know how others are organizing their chores. We put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Before going to bed, my husband sets the dishwasher to wash them during the night. In the mornings, while I’m brewing tea and coffee, I’m putting the dishes away. Only the pots and big bowls are washed by hand. They don’t stay too much in the sink though.

What other bloggers say:

“People always comment on the locations I shoot OOTDs in, they’re always places that I genuinely go which is why I started blogging about them. I’ve never purposely searched for an outfit shoot location!” – Tessa at tessaholly

“My life is silly and messy and fun and certainly not perfect and I think my blog shows that” – Codie at codiekinz

“I started my blog to help me and others find great local places for walks and days out where I live in Devon. These are often beautiful and I wAlk / visit and photograph them myself.” – Clare at flipflopsorwellies

“I live in a really gorgeous part of the country, I’m sure people must think we hunt nice looking places out purely for blogging but we’re just really lucky with where we live! Even in the rain it looks very photogenic!” – Hayley at devonmama

“My life is a floral, pastel coloured explosion, and my blog reflects that! I’ve had some snide comments in the past about my pictures being curated and themed – but that’s just how we live so I shrug it off and take a hundred more pictures of my pastel home!” – Kate at everafterwithkids

4 Comment

  1. I think a lot of bloggers have a good wall or something similar to use in their photos. Some of it is around taking a good photo like getting good light. Just because you can’t see the mess doesn’t mean it’s fake to me as anyone with any sense will realise that. I agree though as my house is usually fairly tidy and what mess there is isn’t anywhere I’m likely to be taking a photo because the mess isn’t in my living space.
    Erica Hughes recently posted…ScentaddictMy Profile

  2. You sound a very organised person with high standards and you’re right, tidying up is more sensible that curating a fake pic for instagram. The problem is blogging has become sooo competitive that lots of bloggers are vying for that extra like / follow / share at the cost of investing in their ‘real’ life. I don’t think that’s sustainable in the long term – especially when you have kids. Something’s going to give eventually.
    Linda Hobbis recently posted…Ideal World 18th Birthday Celebrations – Join The Show For Bargains!My Profile

  3. You do a good job of dispelling some of the myths surrounding certain types of blogs.

    somethingmoreweekly is the ongoing story of my actual life in South London

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